silent survivors

Sara Baartman

Historically women of color don't speak about assault. South African Khoikhoi woman who, due to her large buttocks, was exhibited as a freak show attraction in 19th-century Europe under the name Sarah Baartman was not only humiliated while she was living but her remains of her skeleton and genitalia were exhibited. Baartman's body was exploited for scientific racism, which to me is dispicable.

Sarah Baartman

I can recall most families would instill in us as children don't mention our business outside of their house, even if that meant sexual assault by a family member. For many who have come so far financially in the Afro community to bring up the conversation of such a heinous crime as sexual assault gives the house shame, when they have worked so hard for that status quo. Why is that? Is it because that in our culture stemming back since slavery, black women have been raped and assaulted by not only the slave master but her own men as well. The value of the Black women has always been dismissive as less than humanity so why report a rape or an assault when it happens? Many of us just deal with the physical pain and mental pain the best way we can till know a better way of masking the pain.

Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is real and many women suffer from this issue without even knowing it. In most cultures we suck it up the traumatic experience and keep our lives moving like nothing ever happened. It's not the best way to deal with the situation but it's something as Black women we have learned without realizing the sick theory behind it all. What is never talked about is during slavery the amount of women that were brutally raped in the middle passage and slavery. Black women endured so much from rape, assault to having children from the rape and being separated in some cases and in some seeing a constant reminder of the assault and its effect.

Women were not worth value if you were Black so don't mention any wrong doing or our conditions would reflect what society felt about us, which was nothing. Today I am faced with the same persecution and its 2018. Why are we talking about sexually assault when there are so many other stories you can be addressing? My truth is that in order to heal you have to face your issue head on. Part of my truth is advocacy for sexual assault awareness to prevent another person being assaulted.

For many of us coming up church was a safe haven where you could be closer to God with others that shared the same values. Now a days church's are dwindling down with members and ministers are getting caught in sexual scandals. The most decorated minister in the Atlanta area was Bishop Eddie Long. We all are aware of the scandal and it was shocking and deplorable for a man with power to use it for his own satisfaction with young troubled men. The statistics are scarce or non existent when it comes to boys and men being sexually assaulted. The department of justice Bureau of statistics states that; 1 out of every 10 rape victims are male.

Majority of single parent women find church as their strength when found by themselves after a troubled relationship. Church or any faith based organization should not be tainted with such stories attached to them when the mission is to help heal troubled souls.

I can recall about seven years ago in Rochester, New York, Minister Flowers was convicted of raping a few young boys at his home in Penfield, New York. I wasn't surprised because unfortunately it is starting to seem as a norm when we hear these stories. Why does this happen folks ask? Nobody really can say why because Pedophiles are mentally demented. What we can say is let's talk to our children about sexual assault prevention. What is too young? That is determined by the parent, I believe as soon as the child can tell the difference between sexes as early as four, a child should be educated on his or her private parts scientific name. Explaining to a child when she or he uses the bathroom they urinate through their penis or vagina may sound clinical but its getting our kids prepared to know the difference. Exposing a child naturally to their body parts is educational and they can identify clearly when someone makes them uncomfortable in that private area.

I also think that martial arts is good for prevention method for any individual especially a young child. Some kids use it for bully prevention but I also think it serves a good purpose of building an individuals self esteem. Martial Arts organizations such as Aikido Kokikai of Rochester instruct women how to defend against a variety of attacks including grabs, strikes, and weapons-based attacks.

Resource Links:

National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE