Interview with the Director

Why now?

Director, Nicholle La Vann

From my point of view, our country has had a long tradition of devaluing victims of sexual violence especially when it comes to women who look like me. The world is well known in ignoring women of color being violated all throughout history. The Native American women were violated and raped when invaded by the Europeans, to this day they are still the highest rape victimized culture in the U.S. Specifically in America we can go back as far as slavery how rape impacted our culture. Black women have been molested and raped, subjected to the masters desires including bearing children and having them sold into slavery. The civil rights era still attempted to silence some women like Ruby McCollum.

“I seemed to be a part of the 32.2% that opted to keep their children from rape in the U.S.”

I believe that women survivors of rape like Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey have set the bar and inspired me to continue my dreams and goals. Though I don't have the level of financial success like these women, are stories are similar and still relevant to healing from the heinous crime of rape. I was inspired when I heard Maya speak about how she would not allow her silence to consume her and released poems like "Phenomenal Woman" and "Still I Rise" it touched my soul and helped me in my dark places to recite them and believe that I could be phenomenal as well. Oprah helped me to bring my voice to who I am today as phenomenal journalist she developed real life content that gave me emotions to feel mad, happy or angry. I respected her will to not stop asking questions the tenacity of how she kept her focus on subjects was phenomenal to me.

Why Now?

It wasn't any easy decision being a filmmaker to turn the camera on yourself. I have contemplated not sharing my experience many times after production. Many folks as me why now Nicky? I respond with, why not? When is it the best time to educate our youth about rape? When is there a right time to explain to little girls eight and older about sexual molestation?

Majority of my life has been a struggle even now. I had my daughter over thirty five years ago I have had to struggle with her when everybody told me to keep my child nobody was there to offer daycare whenI was trying to obtain my GED. I was able to return to community college after many rejections in 1998 graduated on the Deans List from MCC in Visual Communications. Education opened up a door to knowledge I wasn't familiar with but eager to learn. I was referred by my professor, Tom Proietti for a paid internship at WXXI, where I worked in the traffic department, moved up to camera operator on "Homework Hotline" and various other shows they needed assistance with for a year. After graduation I was accepted to University of New York at Buffalo, Media Study program. It was at UB I produced my first award winning film. "25 Years 2 Freedom" featuring Betty Tyson. When I graduated I was uncertain on what I wanted to do. I became a Ronald McNair Scholar and the program encouraged me to obtain my masters so I applied to City College of New York and concentrated on Documentary and Directing. It was at City College of New York (CUNY) that I produced another award winning film "110 Morningside" featuring Last Poet, Abiodun Oyewole. Graduating with my Masters and having my Sun's by my side was an awesome feeling.

After graduation I was hired at NBC Universal and that job didn't last long which put me back in the unemployment line. I tried to land jobs at HBO and other networks but they kept pushing me to the bottom of the barrel and I eventually got behind on my rent and became homeless again. I was embarrassed how could I be homeless and graduated with a masters degree and couldn't find gainful employment in New York City to sustain myself and my boys. I took my last check and flew to Long Beach, California with Sachee. I found a U-Haul storage place put my camera, tripod and laptop and stayed with hippies. Sachee really enjoyed California the skate parks to be exact, though I was scared because I knew nobody and nobody was really open arms out in Cali. I applied at studios in Hollywood but got denied so I worked craigslist faithfully. Every morning I was on the list applying for gigs so I could feed Sachee and myself. Joval was 18 and was renting a room back in the Bronx, he refused to leave N.Y. because he was working it was understandable.

I returned back to Upstate New York missing my boyfriend, Ervin I moved in with him in Rochester, N.Y. Produced a short entitled FUA featuring my SUN, Sacheesb. It was late 2007 we arrived back to the ROC and the news was covering a story about a woman named Latasha Shaw who was murdered on Dewey Ave and Driving Park by a crowd of people in broad day light. The ironic part is that none of the witnesses wanted to come forward and speak about who killed her. The activist in me couldn't hold back and I started filming with my Sun, Sachee by my side. The film "Homicidez" was given a proclamation by Rochester City Mayor Robert Duffy. I was truly thankful for people like Robin Wilt who believed in my film and organized the screening and Q & A at the Cinema Theater. Not only did she organize it but she wrote a letter to the city on my behalf nominating me for the proclamation. Shortly after the film's release a man was murdered in front of my home. Robin who was campaigning for Senate at the time, took time from her busy schedule stood by me when news stations were posted in of my front door for interviews.

In 2011, I was teaching for Americorps Vista and met several kids that were effected by their parents incarceration. I felt a strong conviction to give them a platform to be heard and produced "Solutionz" which received the 2011 PASS AWARD from the National Council on Crime and Delinquency (NCCD). The film was a collaborative effort of professionals who cared like Richard McCullough & Carlet Ennille who are still working professionals in the Rochester community.

In 2013, I started Bringing Consciousness Back movement on May 19th. While my Sun Sacheesb was hanging out with his people A$AP Rocky I went on to produce "Living Legendz" featuring Jamal Joseph, Abiodun Oyewole and Dr. Leonard Jeffries.

Erin & Erv

As an independent filmmaker for over fifteen years I am finally ready to exhibit my story visually with no apologies. As I continue to make waves and bring up the discussion around rape and healing it is my privilege to open that door. Please feel free to donate our campaign online as we raise money to finish the film Tenacidad.

Blessingz