2022 GOALS & Ambitions...

It's been a while since I released thoughts from my soul and today is one of those days, I must release my soul. A week or so ago I attempted to drive to Florida to see a friend and visit my grandmothers grave. It's unfortunate that none of the above were accomplished due to winter storms and my back was NOT holding up past New Jersey, so I turned around and came home. I was able to see my daughter and two of my grandchildren. My daughter seems to think it wasn't a big thing not to have my grandson around when I came to visit. Nor did he rush home when she asked him to come home. This generation seems to be so disrespectful and selfish like you owe them something. I have a new attitude going forward and that is go do me first. Over the years I have provided unconditionally to my children perhaps it was to make up for no father in the house. Either way from the eldest to the youngest they are selfish they don't seem to appreciate the sacrifice I made for them.

Times are changing and I keep informing my children I won't be in New York much longer but they tend to think I'm joking. As my youngest grows closer to that graduation date I grow closer to getting my money right for my dream boat in the U.S.V.I.

This year it is my goal to get my business off the ground with my art and securing a consistent income. Lord knows I am exhausted with ride sharing, folks don't appreciate my time and seem to think that my car is their refuge to tell me their problems. I feel like I am stuck in a rut living in Rochester from the opportunities to the people both have taken their toll on me.

Last year a woman did offer me artist space in exchange I will assist her with advertising. I have so much mistrust from being burnt by so many locals I am trying to keep a positive outlook; between keeping my personal goals of fitness and being proactive about my sailing channel. In the new year am challenging myself to continue my dream in multimedia. My goal is to share informative stories that both educational and productive. My biggest challenge is to develop a schedule that I can stick with and not allowing distractions to take me off the path to my success. I can do it but it will take discipline and hard work. One thing I have learned is that anything worth obtaining will be a challenge because if it was easy everybody would be a success...

GOALS

1. Finish my film "Rochesta"

2. Screen "Rochesta"

3. Sell/Rent films on my website

4. Sell merchandise (hoodies and tote bags) for film

5. Sailing Yemaya channel (weekly show)

6. Develop a logo for Yemaya

7. Sell Yemaya merchandise (hoodies, water bottles, tote bags)

8. Get over 10,000 subscribers this year on youtube

9. Sustain an average income of over 5k a month

10. Develop a work, personal, creative schedule that works

My goals are pretty simple and not too complex, because I want to be able to sustain them. If I reach for more than this I probably won't achieve them.

The first of 2022 started off really well I spent the evening with Erv and Erin then went to bed.

The next week I drove to Manhattan and stayed with my brutha from another mother, Duck. I went to see my daughter who is really depressed and I could tell by the way the house was kept. I explained to her how concerned I am about my grandson running around the Bronx she seems to think I was being over protective. If my daughter watched some of her local news she would understand my sentiments about my grandson's safety. I know I can't focus on that right now because it's not my immediate problem so I must keep that filed away for another time. Never really thought being a grandma would be so exhausting, but it is when you can't do anything and you see the writing on the wall. It's like I am trying to warn my daughter a storm is coming and she is replying there is no storm, it's all in your head is what she says. Me having three Suns and leaving NYC for them, I guess she thinks I don't know what I'm speaking about. I sacrificed my own happiness for the safety of my children. I didn't want anything happening to my boys, Lord knows that is why I left New York City I wouldn't been able to deal with that heaviness on my heart. I know for a fact that was the reason I allowed my eldest Sun to go live with his father when he was 9 years old. Though I loathed letting him go to live with his fathers side of the family, because deep down inside I knew they would bad mouth me I just didn't want him to be a statistic. In every parents life we come to a crossroads to choose our children happiness over our own. I have sacrificed for my children and to be honest I would do it again. My body can't take the abuse of working long hours anymore but I can take the time to spend with them when time is allocated in my schedule. I miss my eldest Sun and look forward to seeing him this year in Charlotte, it's been a few years and my heart aches to see him physically and hug him. I really didn't want to fly but it may not be an option; if Erv doesn't come with me. I look forward to this new year with its challenges and may the power of Yemaya be with me. My goal is to make sure I blog at least once a week. Thanks for listening have a positive day and may the Creator guide your steps to success you have outlined for your upcoming year of 2022.

Blessingz and more blessingz ...

How to Earn $ this winter 2022 online

It's feeling like winter in Rochester, New York now the normal temperature has been 30 degrees on the regular. I went to the boat last week to check in on Yemaya and she had some snow and puddles of water on board. This year turned cold so quick there was no time for the fall.

I've been pondering what am I going to do this winter to make money. How to earn money this winter 2022? I honestly don't want to use my car for deliveries or transporting individuals. Besides the wear and tear on your car the attitudes of the individuals getting in my car are the worst, folks don't know how to raise the raise their children, from kicking me in my back to the way they speak to their kids is too much for me. Ride sharing has gotten old for me and so have the people who think I'm going to out of my way for them. At first I didn't mind helping folks driving them back and forth, but then this year with the incident of the lying white woman pushed me over the edge with my anxiety. I picked up a Karen with mental health issues who claimed I was kidnapping her and I wasn't driving the way she wanted to go and the destination was wrong. That accusation right there had me inform her I was going to pull over so she can catch another ride. The passenger started getting irate she wasn't getting out of my car, I quickly turned into the Dunkin Doughnuts on Monroe Ave and politely asked her to get out of my car. I called driver support which notifies the police on a recorded line and informed them I was being held hostage in my own car and the passenger refused to get out; please send an African American officer because I am a Black victim and the perpetrator was white woman. My thinking is I didn't want to be the next victim that called the police and gets shot because of a trigger happy RPD officer, they already have the reputation of killing innocent Black people. That situation had my anxiety go through the roof because after all I went through with this woman lying on me stating I put my hands on her they had the nerve to suspend my account. Let's just say my anxiety went through the earth's atmosphere because inside I was still shaking that this white woman could've had me killed by police. Therefore I have been looking online for online employment on how can I make money online and still be able to sustain myself and my daughter with my everyday bills. I have really got behind in my bills from being sick not being able to catch up. The overall feeling of anxiety seems to plague my sleeping and overall mood sometimes.

After this past 2021, Native American Heritage holiday I have been thinking about where I want to go from here with my career and lifestyle. It's nothing new that I want to relocate to another state or even another country for a few months out of the year. I came across some videos on youtube that state you can make up to $40 or more per hour. As I have been researching most of these ways require you to spend money in order to make money. Such is so on Google Sense and Google Ads they both require your credit cards information but it does seem like you can make it back with driving traffic to your website and the amount of clicks from each person that comes to your site. I haven't seem to figure out the algorithm on how it would work but I suppose my topics have to be on fire for people to want to take the time to read it.

Writing out my plans for my youtube channel have been mind boggling because I need to learn more about my boat. I researched schooling for marine diesel mechanics but haven't been successful one dude offered a membership at the Marina for $400+ but you honestly don't get much for your money except getting to know people at the marina. I believe they are the ones that offer a diesel mechanic class for $35 unfortunately I am not going to pay for the membership because it doesn't have any real value for me. I have been researching online and found a class online that explains the engine. Printing out a diagram of the engine itself and coloring the key components will work for me then I can start memorizing what each part does in the engine and how it operates. I took some images of my engine and will examine those and compare them to the print out. I realized if I was teaching a class on engine repair, this is what I would do to prepare my students. Sometimes I overthink situations and not knowing about engines I don't want to mess up the engine. That fear of NOT wanting to touch it is gone I now want to understand how it works and functions. I think most women share the same fear until we tackle the fear and realize it was all mental. I wanted someone to show me how to maintain the engine so I could learn hands on, but in this case living in Rochester, New York I think I can teach myself as I go. I am grateful it's an old boat so I don't feel bad if I mess something up. Nick has also agreed to help me with electrical maintenance as soon as I get the parts for him to install. I am going to have to wait because that came out to a few hundred for the parts he will need and that doesn't include his labor fee.

Moving right along I have to work hard this month because I plan to visit the south in January and looking forward to a little road trip. I have applied to a few companies so I can work online I am truly tired of doing ride share it really isn't worth it anymore from the high gas prices to the repairs I have to do almost every other month just to maintain. Looks like I will be finding other ways to support myself.

Thanks for reading will have more content on my next blog. I had my tooth pulled so I was down for a few days.

Blessingz,

Nicholle

wrapping up the film...

My daughter is maturing into her own person and I'm proud of her and her school grades this marking period. Very rarely does she smile, so I had to include her on my blog because her smile was so radiant. As a parent it's times when your kid is happy that you feel special like you did something right. I have worked on this film Rochesta for over a year, raised some money but overall I lost money trying to make this independent film. I put items on my credit card in hope that it would help me raise money and instead it depleted my savings account and whatever else I had. I am thankful though I still have a roof over my head and some food in the fridge. At the end of the day it was an experience that taught me about what Rochester means to me. I am not going to stop loving what I do with images, I'm going to enhance the gift and skills I have been given. The new drone isn't as manageable as the Mavic Pro was, but I refuse to give them anymore business after they claimed to fix the gimbal the first time and then bill me for over $400 for the same issue. I gathered some footage of the Fredrick Douglass statue on South avenue but have to reshoot it from the other side for that dramatic look. I was finally able to secure an interview with a retired Sergeant of the RPD who seemed to be a real good dude. Still have a few more interviews and some aerial shots I want to incorporate to make the film complete in my eyes.

I realized how much I really dislike facebook the people are so hateful and racist it's pathetic. I put an ad out on group pages I was seeking a Black boater or fisherman to assist me in helping the youth to get off the street in Rochester and so many white folks bashed me and then had my ad removed being spiteful. I was asking Black people particularly because working with our youth they don't always trust the white community partially because of interactions with police or other white people in the community may have treated them unfairly. It's challenging when you live in a city where Black people hate their own and some white people don't want the positive change they would rather hear more about the violence in the city so it makes them feel safe in the suburbs. After posting the ad the balls of a white dude calling me racist was deplorable. I expect to hear the petty reverse racism is cynical and expected. I have come to the conclusion some folks just hate for no reason I think they are truly unhappy in their own lives there is no room for love.

I also don't gravitate to petty people who continue to have issues with others and then think miraculously their pettiness won't show when working with kids. I know for a fact when people show me their pettiness that I have to heed to those actions because they are showing their true self. When people tell you who they are listen is what I have learned in life.

Lately had a few people send me links to grants and funding. I am appreciative but my only issue is they make hard as hell to apply, they want you to have a crew but if you don't have money in hand you don't have a crew. It's like a catch 22 and I feel burnt out every time I apply, they have denied me so many times I hate to have that feeling in my stomach. I might apply before December 1st I haven't made it final what I will do I know I need to do it fast...

"Opportunity is a haughty goddess who wastes no time with those who are unprepared."

Blessingz...